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Guardian

By Rach

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, Joss is a God. "Angel", the show and all it's characters, belong to the Gods at ME, Fox, and many other places I can't think of right now. I'm just having fun.
SPOILERS: Up to Billy
RATING: G
DISTRIBUTION: The usual places, you know who you are; anyone new please ask - I don't bite!
****

I stood silently at the doorway to her room, as I had every night since I came back to work.

The first day had been hard. I spent most of it alone in my office, and she stayed away, as if she knew I needed time. I only spoke to Angel. I tried to concentrate on research, but every time she walked past the door, or I heard her voice float inside, her laughter, memories of that night came flooding back into my mind. I worked late. I didn't leave my office until she and Angel had gone to bed, and Cordelia and Gunn had left to go home. I regretted having come back so soon, but I knew they were right, that if I stayed at home any longer I'd either go mad, or never be able to come back at all.

My intention was to nip upstairs to the room that was doubling as a library, take a couple of books I'd been meaning to look at, and leave. I almost managed it, too. Almost, but not quite. I walked past the door to her bedroom, and it was open.

I almost walked straight past.

But again, for some reason, not quite. Instead, I slowly walked closer, until I could see where she lay, huddled to one side of the bed, the huge mattress almost swallowing her tiny form. The moonlight shone on her face through the curtains, and I felt a pang in my stomach when I saw that there were still bruises. Bruises spoiling her perfect face. Bruises I had given her.

I left then. I needed time.

That's what I told myself.

The second day was similar to the first; people keeping out of my way as much as possible, leaving me to get on with it. I hated that they were tip-toeing round me, the people I had thought of as my family hardly able to speak to me. I knew inside though that I would never be able to act the same around them, not as long as they treated me as if nothing had happened. Especially Fred.

The day dragged by, just as the one before it had. Again, I was avoided by everyone, and again, I avoided them. I tried to tell myself it'd all be OK, but every time she passed the doorway, I knew I'd been kidding myself. I worked late, and as it grew darker outside, I found myself having to resist the urge to go back upstairs and see her again. I hid myself from her during the day, but at night it was different. When she couldn't see me, it calmed me to see her.

Now, on the twenty-first night, exactly three weeks after I came back to work, I was still watching her. She was like a drug to me; such a vision that I was addicted. Nothing had changed in the way I was treated during the day; I still kept myself to myself. I was beginning to feel more of a loner than I ever had in Sunnydale.

She stirred in her bed, and I smiled briefly. These were the only times that I ever felt any sense of happiness.

"Wesley?" she murmured. I froze; I hadn't thought she'd known I was there. "Wesley, if you're going to stand there every night like a guardian angel, you could at least come inside."

Those words shocked me into movement. How could she consider me a guardian angel after what I'd done? I stepped slowly into the room, but only made it a just inside the door before I broke down in tears. I cried like I hadn't since the night she visited me in my apartment, barely even noticing as she padded across the floor towards me and guided me back to her bed.

I don't know how long we sat there, but she held me until I was cried out. I sat up and looked at her, embarrassed. She smiled at me.

"Are you gonna come back to work?" I looked at her, puzzled.

"Fred, I-"

"No, Wesley. I mean, *really* back to work. You've been locked in your office for almost a month; that wasn't what I meant. I want to see you back out there, fighting the demons, helping us all. I know you can do it, and you'll have me to help you."

I smiled, a real smile this time, and put my arms around Fred, hugging her gently. "Thank you."

She smiled again, and as I pulled out of the hug, she slipped her hand into mine. I felt her smooth, warm skin on my hands, and I realised what I'd been missing out on. Feeling perfectly happy for the first time in a month, I had no doubt in my mind about what I was doing as I leaned in to brush a soft kiss on her lips. As I drew back from her, her eyes were gleaming, and a faint blush spread across her cheeks.

"Thank you." I repeated, quietly.

I stood to leave, knowing that I could go home and sleep well for what was left of the night. And whether or not Fred wanted to take our relationship further than that of two friends, I didn't mind too much, because I knew I had her as a friend, and that was important.

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