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Not Okay

By Rach

Rating: PG
Summary: Andrew tries to cope with the events of Chosen
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Spoilers: Post-Chosen
Dedication: For Regina and Selina :D
Feedback: Please!

~~**~~
Andrew leant against the bus and breathed in a lungful of the dusty air. His head was spinning. Everything was blurry and yet … he remembered watching Anya die so very clearly. One minute she was there in front of him, fighting like a trooper, and then in one very horrific moment, she was sliced apart and lying on the floor in front of him.

He’d almost stopped fighting. If Anya couldn’t survive it, how could he? He was just going to cower in a corner and let them take him, but then he realised how much of an insult to her memory that would be. She was fighting with her last breath, and he should, too.

All of a sudden they were gone. The building was collapsing around him and someone was dragging him out of there.

Then he was on the bus. And now he was standing beside it, next to a hole that would probably come to be known as the New Grand Canyon. A hole that used to be Sunnydale.

“Andrew?” He jumped at the sound of his name. He hadn’t noticed anyone arrive. “Andrew … do you need anything? Are you hurt?”

He forced himself to turn his head and look at the speaker. It was Dawn. Slowly shaking his head, he tried to smile, to reassure her that he was okay, but it came out as a strangled sob.

Placing a hand on his arm, she guided him down to the floor. “You can say you’re not okay if you’re not okay, you know.”

He looked at her again. “Dawn … I’m not okay.”

She crawled in front of him, kneeling in between his legs, and pulled him into a hug. The second her arms wrapped around his back, he dropped his head onto her shoulder and took a deep breath. Feeling her touch him was like … he knew that everything wasn’t okay, but he knew it would get better.

Anya’s death was still on replay in his mind, but at the same time, he knew she’d probably be doing better now. No apocalypses in heaven. And there were a whole bunch of people who didn’t die. Giles didn’t die. Neither did Xander, or Willow, or Kennedy. Faith and Buffy didn’t die. He looked at Dawn. Dawn didn’t die.

This time last week, he’d have been doing summersaults for a hug from Dawn. He might even have thought that maybe she liked him as much as he liked her. But not right now. Sympathy hugs didn’t count, and besides, he was in a very ‘tell it like it is’ mood right then. And there was no way someone like Dawn would be interested in him anyway.

For a second Dawn was close to kissing Andrew. She’d wanted to before, but she was always too shy. This time was no different; she would have been the most insensitive person to do it after he’d just watched a friend die.

And she thought he’d maybe had a crush on Anya.

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